I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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