I feel like I'm in dance class right now
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
