Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Randomize
