k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
