Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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