It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
