There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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