My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
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