seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize
