Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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