Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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