Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
