operation harelip BJ is a go
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Randomize
