Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
