Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
