That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
