I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
