Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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