I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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