If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I'm like, not good at living.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
