I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
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