kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
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