Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
