She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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