Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
