Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
