i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
