You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
