That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
