we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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