She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
