He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
