Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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