last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
