I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
