I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
