You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
