he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Randomize
