Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
