I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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