whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Randomize
