AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
