Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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