I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Holy sore nipples Batman
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
