Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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