Do you still have your period?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
