Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
