There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
