You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
