You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
