just tell him i said nine months
even my farts smell like vagina
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
we're making bets on your personal life
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
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