Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
