is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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