I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
its not stalking. its research.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
